Things I would do for 12 hours sleep (a list)


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The following is a list of things I would do in exchange for 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep:

  • say ‘fuck’ in front of my grandparents;
  • stand on my desk and do a little dance;
  • kiss someone I don’t like;
  • have a drink in a pub on West Street on a Saturday night;
  • watch a football match, pretend that I enjoy it and not mutter about the players being overpaid, spoilt wimps;
  • hug a hedgehog;
  • smile sweetly at one sexist comment, instead of scowling and invoking the vengeful spirit of Emmeline Pankhurst;
  • not eat Marmite for a month;
  • run my nails down a blackboard,
  • pay for a copy of the Daily Mail and read a whole article;
  • eat one mouthful of meat (the animal must have died of natural causes).

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